The Grief of a Father

Tonight is 6 months. 6 of the worst months of my life. One would think that, with time, some of the pain would be tolerable. …

Grab a blanket Curl up It’s what you have Don’t let go Why…why…why me Why does it have to be this way Squeeze that blanket …

Tomorrow marks five months since our son was taken from us. The longest five months of my life. There are still times I am in …

The last week or so has been extremely hard. Not that any of the past 19 weeks haven’t been, but the last week has been …

It’s not quite done, but I spent some time in the tattoo chair today. Jaidon’s name and birthday. The Red-Tailed Hawk, and the stacked stones …

Tomorrow is National Son’s Day. It will be yet another day that I will be reminded that my boy is no longer with us. Looking …

This has been one hell of a rough week. We had our first Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year) without Jaidon. We hit the three month …

Time, what is it? By definition, a noun, a verb, an adjective As humans we judge time By how long it takes To orbit around …

This weekend was supposed to be monumental. We were supposed to move Jaidon into Towson University. I could see it at his graduation in June. …

“I scream your name. At night, during the day, In my head, and out loud. I know you won’t hear it, but I still scream …

Two months. Two hard, painful months. Time stopped for us, yet continues on as well. That is strange. Would give anything for just a small …

I came to your house So many people are there I know that you recently moved in I hope that you are settled in I …

More entries for the year of firsts. On Friday, we went on vacation to the same place we have our last vacation as a family. …

Yesterday, I read a statement from a friend who violently and tragically lost everyone but his mother 26 years ago. Scott Goff wrote he was …

Let’s talk weekends These days are full Not like they used to be With joy, laughter, excitement These days are filled with dread Because the …

Today, I went and got a new dishwasher. The old one broke. I brought it home. I got pissed off. I was so upset. This …

Yesterday was four weeks. Tomorrow is thirty days. I am not sure how this has gone by so fast and also been the slowest time …

Never again will I see your smile Except in a picture frame I can try to see you in memories And that is really a …

Today marks three weeks. It seems like just yesterday and also 10 years. I am not sure how this is possible. As I was looking …

The wind walked across my skin today Carefully maneuvering, keeping me calm The sun smiled down Kissing my skin, warming my body The ground embraced …

To those out there not knowing what to say to us, we hope you never have the words. If you do, it means you know …

Two weeks. Two long, excruciating, awful weeks. The call no parent wants, we got. Just as Jess said, “It has been like an out of …

Today has been hard. Jess went back to work. Kyra went to work. Mattea went to camp. Laylie was a teen, slept in late and …

To all of those out there that deserve it, Happy Father’s Day. That includes single mother’s. You have a tough job. I wish a peaceful …

This photo says it all. It is courtesy of a person that does not know me or my family. She stopped at the memorial to …

I felt guilty today. I felt guilty because I allowed myself to laugh and smile. I allowed myself to have moments where things felt normal. …

Rise What do you do when your soul gets sucked out Allow it to return Rising up slowly like a seedling on a damp forest …

Firsts. We began our year of firsts last Wednesday night. We had our first night without Jaidon. We had our first morning without him. Our …

In the words of Ice Cube, today was a good day, at least it was by the end of the day. I had night terrors …

Today has been yet another day of pain and joy. We met with the principal at Walter Johnson. As we pulled up, the first name …

The outpouring of love for our family is amazing. Thank you to everyone for being a part of everything. Pain, Pain, Don’t Go Away. I …

I can’t begin to say thank you enough to the outpouring of love and support that we have received. Please know that we have read …

In less than an hour, we will begin the funeral of my son. Jaidon was in a car accident with some friends. He lost his …