It is that time of year when everyone starts to check out. Teachers, kids, parents, colleagues, everyone.
You would think that I would be excited to have almost two weeks off of work, but right now I’m just trying to figure out how to survive it. That is a lot of unstructured time that I am not sure I can handle.
I am trapped in this weird place where I am so far beyond emotionally drained that I require some down time but literally cannot get there.
I’m desperately trying to be happy for all my friends who have their kids coming home from college. It must be wonderful to have them back even if just temporarily, but I wouldn’t know. My kid is never coming back.
I am not getting used to this. At all. Every day is a struggle to get from sun up to sun down.
I suspect the holiday season is not helping this.
I know people mean well and are sincere when they wish me happy holidays, and I do appreciate it but it is hard to think about it. The holidays aren’t happy for me. They are hard as shit and I am just trying to not drown in them.
I continue to be so very thankful for all of the support and love from so many near and far. For people who go well out of their way to help us trudge through this in ways that touch so deeply.