Ordinarily today would be a great day, it is Troy’s birthday, but for the past few days he has been dreading it.
My wish for him is that he can find a way to smile amidst his tears and remember the last 18 birthdays he has spent with us as a family.
Today is the first of “the year of firsts” and we know it will be so hard. Wish I knew how to stop or even pause the pain we are all feeling, it is unbearable.
Instead I will just hold him when he falls apart because I know how he feels and there is no bandaid for this, just love.
What could have been a terrible birthday was made into a wonderful celebration by Jaidon’s best friends. They all came over and had dinner with us. They shared stories and laughed. They sand Troy happy birthday and had cake. They went down to his room and spent quality time together just being them. From upstairs all we could hear was laughter and fun. This is what we always hoped for. These kids will always have an open invitation here and we love them with all our hearts.
Last night we had the honor of meeting up with Camille’s parents and Steve Cassel, father of Jake Cassel, who tragically lost his life on Old Georgetown Road almost two years ago as a cyclist who was hit by a car.
We sat at the kitchen table sharing stories of our three kids and the pain, heartache and shock we all feel every time we think about them being gone.
It was oddly reassuring to hear his stories and to know that almost two years later they have found a way to continue moving forward. It provided a lot of hope and inspiration to us as this week has been emotionally paralyzing.
So thankful to have the strong support of so many and feeling heavily conflicted about being a part of this new “club” that no one ever wants to join.