To those out there not knowing what to say to us, we hope you never have the words. If you do, it means you know this pain. Tomorrow will be two weeks since we laid our beautiful boy to rest. Where has the time gone?
The tears build up
Like water being blocked by a dam
Pushing and begging
To break through
It doesn’t matter
Tears won’t bring him back
The air leaves my lungs
Almost like I have fallen
From hundreds of feet up
I try to catch my breath
But I can’t grab it
It is so far out of reach
Everything around me is silent
The volume to my world
Turned down
But, it isn’t
I wail. Loudly
So loudly that heads turn
Staring at me
Judging the unknown
Not fully understanding
The angst continues
The hurt hitting me
In waves, like aftershocks
Constant, steady, unpredictable
But then the sun shines down
Warming my skin
Attempting to penetrate my soul
Embrace the suck
This won’t go away
I must understand
Better yet, educate myself
Learn to be ok, or not
Be the best daily
That I can be
No matter what that means.