Tomorrow is National Son’s Day. It will be yet another day that I will be reminded that my boy is no longer with us. Looking at these photos brought me mixed emotions. Seeing him smile as a young boy with his friends, caring for a baby lamb, his B’nai Mitzvah, graduation, and of course fishing. All of these were a part of his amazing journey in his life.
I remember when I found out it was a boy. What an amazing day. I was over the moon with excitement. He arrived, and was perfect. We didn’t know what we were doing, but we did it.
Jaidon surprised us at every turn. He was so smart and funny. He loved us, but he LOVED mama. The bond those two had, was a once in a lifetime bond.
Jaidon and I bumped heads, mainly because I didn’t understand him. But, I learned. I learned during quarantine so much more. I learned the kind of man Jaidon was becoming. I was always proud, but I was becoming so impressed as well.
I know he knows I was proud of him. I told him frequently. His response was always Jaidonesque…”Why, I am not doing anything but what I am supposed to do.” Of course that was his response.
I miss him coming up, putting his head in my chest and just getting “his kind of hug.” I miss his sense of humor. I miss seeing and hearing him. I just fucking miss my boy. My only son.
Today, after an appointment, I once again went to see him at his final resting place. On the way, at Old Georgetown Road near his high school, I saw another Red Tailed Hawk on the light pole. It flew off as I approached. In a way, I think he is letting me know he is soaring. He is watching over us. He is flying high.
Jaidon, I love you. I miss you. I hope you are resting easy. National Son’s Day is not the same for me, nor will it ever be.