The outpouring of love for our family is amazing. Thank you to everyone for being a part of everything.
Pain, Pain, Don’t Go Away.
I write tonight with a wave of happiness. Today, I learned more about Jaidon than I ever would have known if not for this tragedy. I learned how many people loved him. I learned how many friends he had. I learned that he was an amazing friend. I learned that he was a fantastic brother. I have always known he was an incredible son. Tonight I know that pain is going to come back and I am going to weep, and cry like I did last night. The pain I feel and have is going to sneak up on me and punch me in the gut. I will try to be prepared. The pain will come and hang around behind the scenes and then crash the happiness (think Kanye and Taylor).
The question that I have to ask myself is, do I let it? Do I let the pain control the situation? Do I accept the pain? Do I run from the pain? It’s a loaded question. I want to let it control everything. I want it to just come over me and just take over. I also don’t want any of it to happen. Man, I wish I could make up my mind.
So, I refocus. Remember, flip it positively. Who am I to decide the fate? Oh, wait…I am who Jaidon wants and needs me to be. I am daddy. So let me take the pain and figure this out.
Pain, Pain, Don’t go away
You’re allowed to come any day
But when you do
Be prepared
Because my kids, all 4
Have papa bear.
You can come
Because I let you in
But you will learn
That I will win.
I am in control
I am the one in charge
Not you
Not my heavy heart
Pain is good
Pain brings love
Pain…it hurts
Of course it should
So pain, pain
Don’t ever go away
Because I love to rise up
And show my face
You can come at me
But I have a secret weapon
It’s called a daddy’s love
For Kyra, Laylie, Mattea, and Jaidon
“You may be hurt if you love too much, but you will live in misery if you love too little.” Napoleon Hill