June 13, 2021
June 13, 2021

June 13, 2021

The outpouring of love for our family is amazing. Thank you to everyone for being a part of everything.

Pain, Pain, Don’t Go Away.

I write tonight with a wave of happiness. Today, I learned more about Jaidon than I ever would have known if not for this tragedy. I learned how many people loved him. I learned how many friends he had. I learned that he was an amazing friend. I learned that he was a fantastic brother. I have always known he was an incredible son. Tonight I know that pain is going to come back and I am going to weep, and cry like I did last night. The pain I feel and have is going to sneak up on me and punch me in the gut. I will try to be prepared. The pain will come and hang around behind the scenes and then crash the happiness (think Kanye and Taylor).

The question that I have to ask myself is, do I let it? Do I let the pain control the situation? Do I accept the pain? Do I run from the pain? It’s a loaded question. I want to let it control everything. I want it to just come over me and just take over. I also don’t want any of it to happen. Man, I wish I could make up my mind.

So, I refocus. Remember, flip it positively. Who am I to decide the fate? Oh, wait…I am who Jaidon wants and needs me to be. I am daddy. So let me take the pain and figure this out.

Pain, Pain, Don’t go away

You’re allowed to come any day

But when you do

Be prepared

Because my kids, all 4

Have papa bear.

You can come

Because I let you in

But you will learn

That I will win.

I am in control

I am the one in charge

Not you

Not my heavy heart

Pain is good

Pain brings love

Pain…it hurts

Of course it should

So pain, pain

Don’t ever go away

Because I love to rise up

And show my face

You can come at me

But I have a secret weapon

It’s called a daddy’s love

For Kyra, Laylie, Mattea, and Jaidon

“You may be hurt if you love too much, but you will live in misery if you love too little.” Napoleon Hill