Two weeks ago tonight my absolute worst fears as a parent came to a horrific reality. I spent the night, stomach in knots, chasing Jaidon’s phone through Life360 only to learn that he wasn’t at the cabin the kids were meeting up at, or even at the local hospital. Instead I found myself googling Fraley’s Funeral home to try and get answers of why my kid’s phone was there. It was a night of call after call trying to figure out if he was ok, only to learn he was not.
And neither were we.
At 1130pm on a rainy night, no one wants to be on the phone with a Funeral Director who needs to ask if we want the same casket for Jaidon as we had for my dad almost 9 years prior. No parent wants to say “I want to bury my child in my plot.” A plot that I should have been lowered into that Friday at his funeral, not him.
Time has stood still for me for two whole weeks and I honestly don’t know where the time went. It is like having an out-of-body experience where you feel like you are watching it happen to someone else, but you aren’t. This reality is mine to live.
I am so thankful for the incredibly outpouring of love and support from so many people, but I wish I never needed it.
Thank you so much to all of you who have reached out in any way. We know it isn’t easy. We know there are no words to make even a small dent into the obscene amount of pain we feel or fill the gaping hole in our hearts. We know how hard it is to approach us but I promise it means so much. It is what is helping us try to out one foot in front of the other just to make it to the end of the day.
A huge thank you to all who have helped us honor his memory by donating to his scholarship fund to benefit kids who have plowed through the cookie-cutter school system to soar through their educational challenges. We are so thankful. For everything. More than we could ever express.